Me on 31 Aug

Its Independence day and the official end of my long leave. Back to work tomorrow. Let the routine begin!

I received a message today that reads like this 'if you had a chance to ask for forgiveness from 1 person, who will it be?'. I was taken aback with this message. Tears began to build in my eyes. Was I impressed? Shocked? Not sure of my feelings at that point. It did however also put a smile in my face. I never thought of the person sending me such message after the pain he has put me through all these years.

I have long gotten over the pain though I have never forgotten what has happened. It was never about his actions but more of his words. Sharp, hurting words. Everything I have ever done for him was down the drain in split second. I'm not sure if I'm ready to forgive him though I sometimes feel that it is not his fault for the things that has happened. I believe in karma. I believe that it was my karma that I have been put through those horrible moments. I was also dumbly in love with him. When all this comes together, I'm not sure where his fault lies.

He was just being a guy. Cheat, two timing is what most guys do, especially young, immature ones. We were young and immature at that point. He wasn't ready to settle down and I was crazily in love that I was willing to do anything for him. Anything. I still hurt when I think of the past. However, all this thing that happened has not stopped me from messaging him or even talking to him once awhile. He is happily married with a child now. I don't want to be a part of his life anymore but the fact that i;m always in his mind is comforting. What it means? Can we be friends? I don't know. I will let the days ahead of us to decide if this bond is a life time.