Me on 31 Dec

There's few more hours before the year ends. Thinking back what have I achieved in the whole year, can't really be proud. Of course there was the unexpected promotion and events t work but on the personal front things are the same as it has been for the past few years. I tried to take my mind of how depressing these past few years has been.

i spent few hours at the spa, relaxing. Now I'm at home alone. Everyone has gone to the hospital to visit my uncle who is admitted in the ICU for brain hemorrhage. I myself not feeling well. Yet, I'm longing to go out but I have no one to ask out. Everyone is busy with their personal lives, family, husband, wife etc. Knowing that I'm going spend this new year eve alone at home watching TV is depressing enough. What has happened to me in this past few years?

Where did the out going popular girl go? Who is this boring, single, depressed woman that's typing this? The year didn't bring much that I would truly cherish. Of course there are few moments of happiness and joy but then overall its was just a ok year for me. I went through lots of heartache at work as well as personal. Maybe its time to reflect on those moments and make mends for the future. What does the future hold for me? Will I ever find someone for myself? Will I be spending next year's eve with a companion? So many questions, so many uncertainty.

Life has definitely taught me lots of valuable lessons. Everyday has been a learning day for me. SO many tests, predicament, ups and downs. I hope I would be able to use these lessons to uplift myself in the coming years. Sitting here, typing this blog, makes my mind ponder to nothingness. Should I think of the past year, my eyes tears up. My mind just dissolved into blank vision cos there is nothing much to ponder about this past year. Everyone around me has a pretty good year with lots of good things happening in their lives. Me? Nothing. Period.

I'm still hoping that someone might call and ask me out to celebrate the evening but then deep down I know that no ones going to call. I half hope the guys at least messages me for the new year yet again deep down I know I'm dreaming high. Pathetic. Lets hope the new year brings better prospect..